To many it might seem a little odd that I am writing about how I want to convert and have not yet found a Rebbe to help me. Well this is for many reasons, I am very shy when it comes to meeting new people. However once I am friends I never shuttup. I am also looking for employment so as I don't have an income I cannot repay people for any assistance I recieve from the jewish community. I also cannot buy the necessary books to study.I also live with my mother who is not converting and it is dfficult for me to ask her to keep kosher or keep the kitchen kosher as it is not my place to say this.

For me it feels as though there is nothing that can stop me from converting, but situationally I'm not prepared.
However I feel as though I must convert and whilst you could say I have a choice not to convert, I feel that I do not, that
I must convert.

I am deeply interested in how other people feel about this, but do not yet have any readers on the blog.