To many it might seem a little odd that I am writing about how I want to convert and have not yet found a Rebbe to help me. Well this is for many reasons, I am very shy when it comes to meeting new people. However once I am friends I never shuttup. I am also looking for employment so as I don't have an income I cannot repay people for any assistance I recieve from the jewish community. I also cannot buy the necessary books to study.I also live with my mother who is not converting and it is dfficult for me to ask her to keep kosher or keep the kitchen kosher as it is not my place to say this.

For me it feels as though there is nothing that can stop me from converting, but situationally I'm not prepared.
However I feel as though I must convert and whilst you could say I have a choice not to convert, I feel that I do not, that
I must convert.

I am deeply interested in how other people feel about this, but do not yet have any readers on the blog.

Challah

This is an image of the first challah I ever baked. I was suitably impressed with it at the time.
But with practice I am getting my braiding much better. I am hoping that one day I wil be able to serve some of my challah to the Rebbetzin I speak of in earlier posts.

Synagogue

Last week I visited a Synagogue in the city centre on Friday for the service. I had never visited it before, and had only been to a different orthodox synagogue about an hour away. For reasons of privacy I will call this synagogue shtayim and the first one I attended ah'at.

Whilst both orthodox, there were many differences that I had noticed. The first one (ah'at) I visited was on Shabbat morning and was filled with many men and women. Initally there were only a handful on women and many men, but as the service continued more women attended and their children.

This shul was filled with many Chassidic and frum people. The Rebbe told wonderful jokes and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. They all sang wonderful songs and I met some lovely, caring people.

The second shul (shtayim) was not as full, excluding my hebrew class who also attended. Im not sure if this is because it was Shabbos eve and therefore people were at home having Shabbos dinners or if the people from the city don't attend shul on Friday. It was also much grander than (ah'at) and there was a definite difference in the way the Rebbe spoke. The congregation also continually spoke through the service as opposed to the (ah'at) other shul. Whilst at the ah'at shul people embraced and greeted the others they did it in a quiet way without disturbing the other members.

I feel as though I should continue attending the (ah'at) first shul because I made many more sincere connections with the people there. Meeting two Rebbe's and the most wonderful Rebbetzin and her son.